Someone dribbled dog on my lawn.
There are puddles everywhere that I look.
Inky greasy stains on my bluegrass
Wrecking all the mowing work it took.
Then someone poured dog on my carpet
someone spilled some dog on my deck
Someone emptied dog on on my chaise lounge
Someone spilled dog on my band.
Someone dripped dog on my new chair, the Martha Stewart one I got on sale.
Someone put dog on my taxes. I almost didn't ever get them done.
Someone droozled dog on my husband
Someone dribbled dog on my head.
I do not pretend that this is good poetry. It is inconsistent, ill-conceived, written by someone who is overtired, and meant only to make you laugh.
Chet Baker's fame grows. On Wednesday, as we were flying to North Dakota, my piece, titled,
"Look at that Puppy! But be Careful What You Say!" aired on All Things Considered. I just found out about it, being in a place with more meadowlarks than Internet hookups. Give it a listen. Scroll down and read the gobs and piles of comments, especially the cranky ones, which I'm afraid I find more amusing than insulting. At the very least, I got to say, "Them things is HYPER!" three times on National Public Radio.
28 comments:
Ahhh, the life of Chet Baker. Hyper? I think not.
Beth
Chet is adorable, and quite well behaved. I don't think comments you hear have so much to do with him or his appearance as they do with the need some people feel to share their opinion and tell you how to run your life.
So your dog is ugly, or your cat is stupid, or you would be pretty "if only you'd ...", or (my favorite) any sentence beginning "If I were you ..."
You should have posted a warning at the beginning of your blog.
I mean, anyone in serious need of a Chet Baker fix could OD on all the boston cuteness.
perhaps not good poetry... but great doggerel!
I read the NPR comments. I can't say I am really surprised since dog stories always seem to hit someone's hot button no matter what you might say. I don't think I've read such funny comments since you did the post about Chet's leash training (or lack thereof) such a long time ago.
I do hope someone will tell the know-it-all guy complaining about grammar that "refer back" is redundant.
We too have just adopted a round headed baby - never thought I'd love him, but you captured it perfectly.
Julie, if you need someone to come and clean up some of that dog you've got all over the place, just let us know. I'm sure my wife and kids could find some way to "recycle" all that puppy love!
By the way, did anyone else notice that husband Bill o'the Birds was required to lie on a protective blanket covering the couch, while the Bacon need no such covering when sprawled across the chaise lounge, couch, MS chair, taxes or Julie? :-D
Poor boneless thing. It's a miracle how he manages to get around.
If your "hyper" baby relaxed any more, he really would be liquid! Thank you for the much needed Chet fix.
The NPR program is hysterical! Laughed and shook my head simultaneously at some of the comments. Talk about speaking without thinking. I would no more say "Your dog is ugly" than "Your baby is ugly."
As you suggest, one of the attractions of the smooshy faced dogs is that they resemble humans. Maybe that's a little too close for comfort!
Mystifying that people felt the need to correct grammar or tell you "If you can't take the heat"--in the words of the wise Mr. Rogers, "Can you say, 'Missing the point?' "
You certainly hit a nerve with your very entertaining piece! I'm no journalist, but that's a good thing, huh? You rock!
What a great way to fill all the little "extra" moments in life. You want to see dog dribble, check out my bloodhounds, now that's dog dribble!
Lots of fun, thank you!
bill;www.wildramblings.com
Clearly, thet dog is TENSE. Great commentary, and I enjoyed reading every single comment, too. I've noticed that no matter what I say, it's going to irritate or offend someone. It continues to surprise me but I never learn anything from it; just keep lettin' fly. I have a new fun thing to do when I'm bored: take the comments from the Church of Holy Grammar sorts and sieve them for mistakes. There's never a shortage.
Tried to leave a comment on NPR's site but kept gettng booted out. All I was going to say about some of the comments is that:
Some of these peoples is hyper!!
It is delightful poetry! Sounds like a Sandra Boynton style children's book to me...my kids loved those!
Caroline in South Dakota
Oh, dear, some people should not be allowed near a computer! Some of those comments on the NPR story are simply bizarre. A couple of them had me saying, "Get a life!" I agree with possumlady. Thanks to your evidentiary photos, anyone reading this post can see just how truly hyper that Baker thing is.
I loved your NPR piece.
About Chloe, I've heard, "Nice cat. Felix?" From another, "That's the ugliest dog I've ever seen." Boy did that man get an earful from me about that ugly terrier he owned. One of them terriers with slits for eyes. All in fun.
LOL!
A dog's life--
to be able to, anywhere and at any time, pour yourself out, while the world goes on around you.
Wouldn't it be wonderful?
Boy, all those dog dribbles must be SO hard to clean up! Hee hee. I imagine that's only a tiny fraction of the photos you have of the Bacon in all his laze-i-tude. Loved the NPR piece. It was fun actually hearing you say "Them thangs is HYPER!" (and I counted 4 times, not 3!) Oh dear. If only people would think before they speak.
I love your Chet Baker posts.
Loved the NPR piece! Was sort of hoping you'd toss in the word "Mether" a few times.... Someday when Chet appears on TV maybe you could use it :)
I love dog on my head.
Good, bad or indifferent a Chet blog is a Chet blog.
My girlfriend heard the Baker piece and called me right away, saying, "don't you know her? And isn't that the dog you're always talking about?" Hee hee!
Good ol' Chet -- he makes relaxation an art form! He sure has a good life!
I heard your NPR piece. I adored your twang as you said 3 times: "Them Dogs is Hyper"... You did a very good impersonation of a West Virginian.
Maybe you have latent impersonation skills nobody knows about....
Who knows maybe those mockingbirds you enjoy watching and listening to are rubbing off on you...lol.
Ahhhhh how cute!!!!!your dog is goofy!!!!!:o)Hope your life goes on!!!!
brooke,
I can't think of anything better to have dribbled upon any of it! That Baker Boy is some swell puppeh! You lucky, Mether, you!
Oh my, another evening enlivened by photos of Chet. I was pleased that the link to your All Things Considered piece still worked. SW
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