Fluffernutter for the Dog-lover's Soul

Dunno about you, but I'm ready for a Chetfix.

I'm ready to think about anything other than rabies. I'm ready to live again, to work myself to the bone digging in the dirt and weeding and tilling and planting. Which I've done all day (Saturday) and with the help of my Garden Mule (Bill) we got the garden tilled and the peas and lettuce in. I then moved on to weeding and fighting invasive running bamboo that a gardening "friend" gave me about ten years ago. Hah. With friends like that, who needs enemies? It took me two hours to dig it back out. It had sent 8' runners a foot below the surface in every direction, like a metastasizing vegetal tumor, but I think I got them all. You dig and pull, dig and pull until you finally unearth the pointed tip of each iron-strong runner. The lawn looks like a bomb went off in it, but better that than going down in history for having introduced variegated running dwarf bamboo to Washington County. I am convinced that, left unchecked, it would cover the earth. Garden Chimp Tip: Avoid it. And burn the runners when you dig them up.

I got my first rabies prophylaxis shot on Wednesday afternoon and I have to say that the fat syringe full of evil-looking magenta liquid scared the bejaysus out of me, I mean, knowing that that stuff was going right into my bicep was not fun. But the nurse was skilled and the needle was fine and sure and begorrah it didn't hurt at all. Not only didn't it hurt, but I was never sore afterward. So I'll have another this Weds. and the Weds. after that and then I can help bats if I want to. All by myself, just me and my antibodies working together. I'll buy a welder's mask for Liam if he wants to watch. "Thank you" sounds so flaccid, so limp, for what you've done. I have about a month's worth of thank-you notes to write and a big fat donation to the Ohio Wildlife Center to make because you guys went nuts, you really did, and I got my inoculations paid for and then some. So the then some goes to OWC, because they're REALLY helping people and wildlife, and on the grand scheme of things I'm just fooling around, writing about it, making it sound like I'm really doing something when I'm not.

Speaking of fooling around, you haven't had a Chetfix for an age and I need one too so here is a portentious post about a dog chewing on his foot. It is heavy with meaning, drama and life-or-death choices. No, wait. That's not this post. This'n's fluff. Fluffernutter for the dog-lover's soul.

Ever wish you were your dog? With nothing to do but soak up the sun and think about...nothing?

This seems like a good time to chew my foot.

It is a delicious foot, tasting of grass, popcorn and pee pee.

I feel bad that you cannot chew your foot. You are not flexible enough to do that, or many other pleasurable things that dogs can do.

oink oink oink oink
the sweet click of toenail on tooth

They do not call me Little Cat Dog for nothing. I am clean and catlike, and I never need grooming because I groom myself. I always smell like sunshine.

Except when I fart. Then I smell like Satan's ceegar.


I chew my Nylabone, and get little crumbs of it all over Mether's Guatemalan bedspread. But she hasn't made the bed today, so maybe she will not notice. Mether buys me the gummy Nylabones so I do not break my teeth. Katdoc says the hard Nylabones are too hard and will shear off my molars. We do not want that. Mether is happy to clean up all the Nylaboogers I make so I do not break my teeth. Even though I am a strong chewer she buys me the crumbly puppeh bones. She loves me.

By the way, did you know that Katdoc is going to get her very own Boston terrier? I like to think that I, Chet Baker, had something to do with that. I am an ambassadog for the breed. My breeder Jane says I have sold more Boston terriers for her than Mether will ever know. Because mine is the finest breed of doggeh, and Jane is the finest kind of breeder, I believe that is a good thing.

My charm is irresistible.

Nylaboogers are a small price to pay for bringing laughter and solace to writers with bad judgement.

Everyone needs a doggeh to snuzzle

to nap in a spot of sun.

It is important to have someone around you with nothing to do, someone with nothing on his mind but kisses and cuddles, if you are to make it through the day. My job is being here for Mether, 24-7, 365, and I am very good at my job. But Mether does so many things that helping her get through her day is tiring, and now it is time for my mid-morning nap.

Good day and Happy Easter.