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Election Day Caption Contest

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

David Branstool: He Floats to the Top.

Yesterday, I gathered all the giant, colorful campaign flyers up into a prodigious pile. Reflected briefly on the all trees that died that they may stuff our mailbox. Read through a few, noting that they all said the same thing. Noted that they were mass-produced, and the name and unflattering photo du jour of So-and-So was merely digitally inserted in the graphics. Reflected briefly on the ugly political machine that cranked them out, and thought about the next horizon of media it will employ to deploy its prefab lies on a weary populace. Will we get texts? Wall posts? Instant messages? So-and-so's gonna waste your tax dollars and want more! So-and-so's gonna take your guns away! So-and-so's on the side of the radicals who want the government to pay for abortions! Look, here's our so-and-so with a muzzleloader! Really. That  soo makes me want to run out and cast my vote for her, the fact that she took a photo-op at a gun club. Oh, look. Flannel.

I put them all in a pile and lit them. Because the paper was so expensive--heavy coated cardstock--and because there were so many of them, I had to stand there and poke for quite awhile before they were all clean white ash, which come spring I will spread on the garden.  At least they're good for something.

Standing there for so long helped me come up with the first in what I hope will be a large outpouring of captions for this photo. Have at it. Or, in the spirit of Election Day, just try to edge out Murr Brewster  with something snortworthy. Good luck!

Oh, and go vote, willya?


A Judge Who'll Keep You Regular

(note: I could only see the Branstool sign by clicking on the picture to enlarge it. Otherwise, it was cropped off)

Keeps the docket moving smoothly!

Vote Branstool: Because who needs anything more than a diaper beneath the robes?

He has the moral fiber we need!

A judge who gets results from the bowels of the constipated judicial system.

Vote for a new movement sweeping the county! Vote Judge Branstool; he's just a regular guy.

You failed to mention he's running for office in Licking County.... That could get a few juicy captions:)

Vote early; vote often :)

A change from polyptics as usual.

Change you can relieve in.

Posted by Jim Cirigliano November 2, 2010 at 11:11 AM

Obviously I woke up too late. I'll have to go sit down and think about it...but I'm so proud to have my name smeared up there on top of the comment section.

Murr, Julie really handicapped us West Coast girls. Coffee first, caption maybe later.

That's right, Trixie, we've been wiped out. I understand the good judge was appointed by Governor Strickland. At least he can't be accused of packing the court.

Branstool---because at least my name isn't Boehner.

This election, vote with your gut!

This is too hilarious Julie, it made me laugh out loud. Too good.

Sandy A
Marietta Ohio

Posted by Anonymous November 2, 2010 at 6:39 PM

Thank goodness Ia am a Canadian so I don't have to vote in your election.
Based on all the negative ads we see, there can't be anyone worthy of a vote.

If Jesus came back as a politician he would be crucified agin. This time in the press.

Nasty thing, American politics.

Thanks for the link to Murr's excellent page. Can see why you two might get along! Condolences on the results of no pleasant election. As for Branstool, I hope he's flushed with success...

Nick from Ottawa

Posted by Anonymous November 3, 2010 at 7:17 AM

He Hasn't Been Around Long Enough to Stink

This post and day jogged me to look back at one of my favorites, the 11-4-8 one, Rural Ohio Voting (I think). I refuse to think that we were naive or suckers. The essence of what you captured so beautifully has just gotten scared underground. Forge On! Leslieyosh

Posted by Anonymous November 3, 2010 at 9:40 AM

that one got a quack out of me, Leslie!
Here's the post you referred to:

Scared underground. Yeah. Or something. Sigh. OK, you had a landslide yelling about how broken everything still YOU fix it.

Tell 'em Judge Branstool sent ya! Get a good seat!

These are hysterical. I see you didn't have to push too much to get us all in the mood for a little political potty humor. Wasn't really a big leap at this point, was it? Thank heavens voting day finally came.

Branstool: Helping to Unstick the Political Logjam.

Branstool: One candidate who isn't full of it.

(a day late and a quip short)


Don't judge David Branstool, leave that to your laboratory technicians!

Too, too, too funny! Thanks for all the good laughs everyone! What a day maker!

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